Dog Blood and Cow Urine

February 9, 2018


The Morning Heresy is your daily digest of news and links relevant to the secular and skeptic communities. 

I don’t know what came over us, but we were just Cuckoo for Press Releases yesterday. First we called out Jeff Sessions for installing little religious-right watchdogs with every U.S. Attorney’s office, and then we called out the GOP Senators looking to exploit disaster relief efforts in order to pump taxpayer dollars to churches.

In case you were unclear about where certain folks stand on the whole secular-government thing, Rep. Steve Scalise, who is recovering after being shot last year, tells the National Prayer Breakfast, “You can’t separate church from state.” Oh! Well. Good to know.

Trump also spoke. Whatever. 

Julie Zauzmer at the Post looks at the messy history of God-invocations in our national motto, pledge of allegiance, and whatnot. 

There’s a ton of new stuff at!

Justin Trudeau, who even I think is dreamy, tells Facebook (actually in Canada it’s called “Facebouk”) to get its fake-news house in order, or face the wrath of the maple two-by-four of justice. 

Speaking in Jakarta, UN religious freedom envoy Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein says:

I have expressed to the government my concerns about the implementation of the ill-defined blasphemy law, which has been used to convict members of minority religious or faith groups.  

Health-guru/self-parody David ‘Avocado’ Wolfe has detoxed his Facebook page of critical reviews. 

15 million gallons of mercury will leak into everything once global warming melts the planet’s permafrost. Mars ain’t lookin’ so bad now, is it?

The Center for American Progress lists the “faith leaders to watch” in 2018. I’d prefer a little more guidance in the direction of “faith leaders it’s okay to ignore.” 

Bigfoot is sucking the blood out of dogs in North Carolina. Okay great. 

In one state of India, you can buy cow urine as a health drink. It’s actually just flat Mountain Dew, but ssshhh.

Okay, I think Kenya needs a new spokesperson for atheism, because I this guy’s had a few too many. Atheists in Kenya leader Harrison Mumia posts a picture of a sex doll and says:

Samantha could be the perfect solution to my bachelor situation. She’s pretty, flat tummy, big boobs, and she will forever remain pretty! She doesn’t nag and doesn’t need make up. Oh, she doesn’t age, doesn’t grow fat, and can’t get pregnant… And most important, she doesn’t believe in God! Wait, no mood swings associated with periods! Samantha is everything I want in a wife! #Samantha 

And…wait…is that character on the doll’s tank top…Jigglypuff??? Oh, Jiggly. No, no. 

Quote of the Day

Kaila Hale-Stern at The Mary Sue writes in the voice of Mike Pence to address the reports that a gay Olympian won’t meet with him:

Even I don’t really know what’s going on with me now, though to be fair that’s a state I’m generally comfortable with. I, Mike Pence, a person with dead eyes and a pet bunny, a straight heterosexual male who has spent countless years trying to curtail gay rights, am Tweeting support at a gay athlete. Why? Because I don’t want crappy news coverage when I’m about to have my big Olympics moment and for once no one will be talking about Russia. Are you not following me here?

Instead, I’m claiming my long documented history of fighting against LGBT equality tooth and nail is FAKE NEWS. FAKE NEWS like the statement I wrote out in 2000, where I said: “Congress should support the reauthorization of the [HIV funding] Ryan White Care Act only after completion of an audit to ensure that federal dollars were no longer being given to organisations that celebrate and encourage the types of behaviours that facilitate the spreading of the HIV virus.” See? It’s all FAKE NEWS. I never actually said anything like “the gays are spreading the HIV.” Show me where I said it. I didn’t. BAM.

Oh, mother.

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