Atheist Godfather, Holy Home Runs, Black JesusAugust 8, 2018
Celebrant: Do you reject Satan and all his works?
Me: I do. This was easy. Satan is fictional. I reject him, Santa Clause, and leprechauns.
Celebrant: Do you reject sin, so as to live in the freedom of God’s children?
Me: I do. For me sin is dropping a good slice of deep dish pizza onto a dirty floor. Or sitting on a $9 cigar. I’m against lots of those kinds of sins.
Celebrant: Do you reject the glamor of evil, and refuse to be mastered by sin?
Me: I do. I mean… I’ll try. I won’t let any bad habits master me, though I reserve the right to dip my foot into Lake Sin every now and then.
Religion in Caves, God Flunks Engineering SchoolJuly 25, 2018
Is there any evidence that our closest relatives (living or extinct) harbored religious beliefs? —Al Not to my knowledge, though if anyone has any info about Neanderthal or any other cousin practicing rudimentary religion, I’d be interested too. Of course, early humans had nothing of the organized religion you see in more modern history …
Xenu, Murder, and Declining HeavenJuly 18, 2018
Is there anything positive in religion? Research shows that some dogmatic atheists are unable to see anything positive in religion. Aside from being a positively wonderful target for your devilish sense of humor, what do you find that is positive in religion? James Well “James” (if that’s your real name), I’m not sure what a …
Mormon Spray, Geriatric God, Sarah Silverman & JesusJuly 11, 2018
Why are the religious so irritating?? Mormons are invading at the moment and I can’t spray for them 🙁 Shaun Does Shark Tank know about this anti-Mormon spray? I may want a piece of that action. Short of poisoning proselytizers who visit your home, consider asking the cherry-faced young chaps in for a talk. Ask …
Christian Nation? A loving God? Agnostics in Foxholes?July 4, 2018
Happy 4th of July everyone… and as George Carlin once said, “Let’s get right into the heavy sh#@.” Is the U.S. a Christian Nation? R. Frapples Yes and no. It is in the sense that the largest religion is Christianity, but if you mean was the U.S. founded as a Christian country, then the answer …
Sex with the Unchurched, Atheist for Trump, Benny Buck$June 27, 2018
As a general rule, is sex with an atheist better? Let me know. —Curious in Kentucky (This question was asked in one form or another multiple times…) The answer is yes. Much better. Much much better. Let’s put it this way: I’m sure there are plenty of believers who can raise the old flag, if …
Ask the Atheist: Activist and Comic to Field Believers’ Tough QuestionsJune 22, 2018
Hollywood: Despite the fact that the nonreligious are among the largest “belief groups” in the United States, most of what people think they know about atheists comes from believers. That’s why veteran atheist activist and performer James Underdown is launching a new column, “Ask the Atheist.” “People who are atheists, they hate God,” says Pat Robertson to his daily …
Nature vs. Nurture, Verified Miracles(?), and Why do you hate God?June 20, 2018
I don’t hate God, Homer Simpson, or any other fictional character. Though I have seen Homer Simpson.
Irony MaidenJune 29, 2017
Elizabeth Moss’s role in The Handmaid’s Tale should be a cautionary tale for all Scientologists
Cubs win, but what about the Universe?November 3, 2016
Coins land on edge, someone wins the lottery, asteroids kill off large swaths of life on our planet, a universe pops into existence. All of these things happen without defying the laws of physics. The Core Theory is intact. We’re ok.