Funny…The One True God
August 11, 2020


I guess what I am asking, in this justifiably sensitive world, is that people consider the source when deciding whether it’s ok to laugh at something. It really does matter who’s making the joke. Yes, there’s a lot of shit that needs correcting in this country, and we shouldn’t let up for a moment in working toward a better world. But not everyone who tries to make a joke is a bad person, and no one is funny every time. That’s just a fact.

5 Things I wish Trump WOULD Endorse
July 16, 2020


Trump should be allowed to promote – as vigorously as he’d like – the following list of products and brands to his supporters.

Homemade Fugu

Mmmm mmm, I do love me some Fugu on the barbie. When I have some of the other millionaires-claiming-to-be-billionaires over for a back-porch cookout, I love to surprise them with some pufferfish. I make the best fugu. Ask anyone. They tell me it’s hard to clean properly, but how hard can it be? You cut, gut, and toss it on the grill. It’s the best. I’m the best.

Jehovah’s Witnesses Adapt to the Pandemic
July 6, 2020


Now, I’m not so cold-hearted that I can’t see that this is a well-meaning, pretty well-written missive from one (anonymous) person to my mother. There’s nothing wrong or cruel about it at all, but there are a few problems.

First, my mother was already dead by the time the letter arrived…

Satan at CFI? Save your Dime…
May 12, 2020


Jim Underdown: Hello?

Caller: Hi, how you doin’?

JU: Good, what can I do for you?

Caller: Well I wanted to know exactly what area you guys were in, because I had been in the area and I had heard you guys were going to turn the place into a Satanic Temple. Is that true?

JU: No.

CALLER: Oh it’s not true?

JU: Nope.

Contemplating Death, Cremated Knees and $200 bills
April 7, 2020


Hell, I’ve dodged a few bullets – motorcycle crashes, mountain-climbing mistakes, and other stupid, life-threatening exploits – but surviving those is no inoculation from my eventual demise. I know that bastard with the black hood and scythe will find me eventually. It’s one of the toughest things about being human – contemplating your own death. Sometimes I envy mosquitos, oblivious of quick hands and purple martins…

Who Needs Toilet Paper – When the Going Gets Tough…
March 23, 2020


Did Chicago Cubs fans give up, when on 8/8/88, after waiting
118 years for their first night game, it was rained out? Hell no.

Did the castaways give up hope or kill Gilligan, after he,
for years, screwed up every solid opportunity to be rescued? Hell no.

Did “Mad” Mike Hughes give up after his first (DIY) rocket
launch failed to prove that the earth was flat? Hell no.

Skeptic Spam Scam Scam?
March 3, 2020


From: James Underdown [mailto:gabbadost@gmail.com]

Sent: Monday, March 02, 2020 1:53 PM

To: ‘Robyn Blumner’

Subject: RE:

CVS wants cash too. My checking account only has $16 in it.
The company never paid me back for the PBR I bought for the Board meeting.

Can you ask Pat in accounting to wire $1000 to my account so I can cash a check?

I M GOD, Westboro Baptists for Atheism
February 19, 2020


It might have gone like this in court:

  • State of KY: But your honor, this is ridiculous. How can they compare Mr. Hart to our lord and savior? Jesus walked on water and raised the dead!

  • Hart: I can do that.

  • State of KY: Let’s see you!

  • Hart: I’ll do it when the court witnesses Jesus do it.

Crackpots, Serial Killers and Flat Earthers
November 6, 2019


Things are a bit different now. Any crackpot with a 6th grader’s knowledge of computers can design and launch a website, shoot, edit and post a You Tube video that is wrong in every sense of the word, and search the world for people who share their same fetishes, dopey ideas, or sick fantasies.

Nazis, the KKK, and The Angriest Yoga Master: Another Day at the Office
July 24, 2019


Now hold on. Am I a Nazi or a Klansman? Make up your mind.