Nazis, the KKK, and The Angriest Yoga Master: Another Day at the Office

July 24, 2019

How do you deal with angry believers? Or ones that are crazy?
Patrick – Morton Grove, IL

First, I wait a bit before I answer. There are far too many people out there who are just trying to get a rise out of people for their own warped entertainment.

Some people can be talked down from their anger if you can stay calm around them. Some may be a little nuts (“Nuts” being a non-clinical term for someone dealing with some kind of mental imbalance) and outside your ability to effect change in them.

The Center for Inquiry Investigations Group gets lots of practice in dealing with people who are experiencing some kind of imbalance. This imbalance can manifest itself in many different ways – seeing things that aren’t there, hearing voices that no one else can hear, etc. The people we deal with invariably think that what they’re experiencing is due to some paranormal ability on their part, or a connection to an (imagined) paranormal realm. They see this ability as a road to win our $100,000 Paranormal Challenge. We do our best to find a reasonable way to respond to such inquiries that recognizes a likely cause for their experiences, while also giving them a fair chance to prove such ability.

The CFIIG tests an alleged clairvoyant via Skype.

 

Sometimes, keeping a civil tongue in one’s mouth is difficult — for me anyway. Here is an example of a letter we got from a guy who was applying for our prize. I’ll keep his identity anonymous because I think he’s got issues that won’t get any better by my exposing his claim.

His claim is telekinesis – the (alleged) ability to move or control inanimate objects with one’s mind. We saw numerous videos of this guy implying that he is moving empty plastic cups (rolling on their side) and yard wind spinners with his mind. Any normal person would see that he is rolling the cups to get them started. Add to that average room air circulation, a (possibly) uneven table, and who knows what else (we saw an a/c duct right above him in one video) and you get lots of mundane causes for the cups moving. In the outdoor wind spinner videos, we clearly see trees waving back and forth like one of those tube man dancers in front of a car dealership.

He did not connect any of those what-causes-things-to-move dots in his own head and became a bit disturbed when I told him what a test of such ability might look like. First, my e-mail to him:

 

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.

 

Are you still interested in taking the CFIIG $100,000 Challenge?

 

We looked at your video of appearing to move a plastic cup on the table. We like this claim because it is easy to test.

 

Just know that you would have to move something in a very controlled environment (like under a glass case), and that you’d have to move the object in prescribed ways. That way, an object randomly moving due to air movement in a room would be eliminated from consideration. Such movement would not be a paranormal event.

 

Do you think you’d be able to be successful under those conditions?

 

Let us know.
Best regards,
James Underdown

He didn’t take these simple parameters (we use to prevent cheating) well. Here is his response:

Ok I’m interested. But not moving air I’m moving Energy. do you know anything instead of writing books and directing movies do you know anything about chi gong, tai chi, chi energy. Do you study anything about relaxation, meditation. what’s your biggest thing to use to calm yourself down is it alcohol, drugs, buying something to make yourself happy, buying things to impress people, criticizing people, harassing people, get a rise out of people, does this make you happy thinking that you are in control this stupid company. Do you need to be in control. Are you a control freak. i’m not moving air dude go learn how to meditate instead of being a typical California rich douche bag. I really don’t want to be part of your nazi training camp be criticize harassed on TV because of some Trump supporter Control freak that would probably set up to make it so it works in your favor every time for some reason weird dictator reason with all these test subjects i’m a test subject I’m a fucking human being with some fucking with A lot of martial arts behind me Powerful chi energy. Just a control freak typical control freak out there to prove me wrong and everybody else because of your crooked belief system because your live in fear of been poor. Probably set everything up in a way that it works all in your favor so my energy is completely fake in everyone else’s eye. so you can take your KKK ways of life criticize harass abuse and say it’s magic say doesn’t exist make a fool out of me fuck off fuck you and your hundred grand

I didn’t send a response because he somehow didn’t seem as interested by the end of the note.

But just for the record, here’s what I would have said:

Ok I’m interested. But not moving air I’m moving Energy. do you know anything instead of writing books and directing movies do you know anything about chi gong, tai chi, chi energy. (I know what it’s supposed to be…) Do you study anything about relaxation, meditation. (Yes. I’m using it right now.) what’s your biggest thing to use to calm yourself down is it alcohol (Sometimes.), drugs, (No.) buying something to make yourself happy (Do cigars count?), buying things to impress people (Have you seen my car?), criticizing people (Occasionally, but it doesn’t calm me.), harassing people (No.), get a rise out of people (Maybe sometimes.), does this make you happy thinking that you are in control this stupid company (It’s not really a company, and I’m definitely not in control of it.). Do you need to be in control (Of myself?). Are you a control freak (Probably not. You’re not big on punctuation, are you?). i’m not moving air dude go learn how to meditate instead of being a typical California rich douche bag (I may be a douche bag, but I don’t think I’m typical, I’m not from California, and I’m certainly not rich. Have you seen my bank account?). I really don’t want to be part of your nazi training camp (Huh? Nazi? Oh no, I’m definitely anti-Nazi.) be criticize harassed on TV (The test probably wouldn’t air.) because of some Trump supporter (Trump supporter? Have you seen my Facebook page?) Control freak that would probably set up to make it so it works in your favor every time (All applicants for the prize agree to the protocols before being tested. The tests are based on what YOU say you can do.) for some reason weird dictator reason with all these test subjects i’m a test subject (So, you want us to mail you a check based on your videos?) I’m a fucking human being with some fucking with A lot of martial arts behind me Powerful chi energy. Just a control freak typical control freak out there to prove me wrong and everybody else because of your crooked belief system (Are you referring to my belief that the Chicago Bears could go all the way this year?) because your live in fear of been poor. (Already there, pretty much. Well, maybe not poor poor…) Probably set everything up in a way that it works all in your favor so my energy is completely fake in everyone else’s eye.(I’m sure that if your energy were real you could find a way to show us – but not on a windy day.) so you can take your KKK (Now hold on. Am I a Nazi or a Klansman? Make up your mind.) ways of life criticize harass abuse and say it’s magic say doesn’t exist make a fool out of me fuck off fuck you and your hundred grand
(So… are you interested or not?)