Pez, Scientologists, and Super Powers

November 19, 2013


Now that Scientology’s new “Flag” building in Clearwater, FL, has opened, the Independent Investigations Group, in partnership with the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry, would like to invite all scientologists to win $100,000 for their church.


Why now?


Part of the allure of this new facility is on the fifth floor where Scientologists can participate in the church’s Super Power program. There they can work – for a price—to improve 57 senses (did you think there were only 5?) or “perceptics.”


Among the 57 varieties of powers one can hone are: blood circulation, compass direction, cellular and bacterial position, gravitic (self and other weights), motion of self, motion (exterior), as well as an awareness of importance, unimportance.


Some of these extraordinary abilities would qualify for the IIG $100,000 Challenge. For instance, Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, has publicly claimed that one could increase his own body weight by 30 lbs. in a few hours. That would qualify. That, I would like to see.


Super Powers


When I was a kid, I ate a Pez I had stashed in a secret compartment in a decoder ring. Though it cost less than a penny, I believed the magical Pez  gave me super powers. Or so I thought – until I tested them. Alas, my strength and foot speed had not budged.


Scientologists get their Pez in Clearwater now. But I don’t want to hear Hubbardian tales about what the Super Power training can achieve. Why don’t you show the world what your wonderful techniques can do?


I challenge your entire worldwide church to find ONE person who can pony up ONE super power and demonstrate it under scientific testing conditions.


You Scientologists do like science, don’t you?


If that person passes a simple test, the oldest skeptical organization in America (CSI) and the largest paranormal investigations team in the world (IIG) will send a check for $100,000 to you. Wouldn’t that be something.


You do like money, don’t you?