- What do you use to clean a Ouija board?
Answer: A sqOuija.
- At the pub, what did the skeptic reply when the New Ager asked, “What’s your sign?”
Answer: “The Bud Light in neon!”
- What did we find on investigating the weeping statue?
- In haunted house investigations, what do EMF meters detect?
Answer: The presence of silly ghost hunters.
- After the alternative-medicine patient lay on a slab with a crystal placed on his solar plexis, what did he feel?
Answer: That he was between a rock and a hard place.
- What American cities have a hidden UFO?
Answer: BeaUFOrt, in both North Carolina and South Carolina.
- What could we call a Bigfoot if she had magical powers?
Answer: A Sasqwitch.
- What is a spirit called that produces trivial disturbances?
Answer: A paltry geist.
- If shot by a disgruntled True Believer, would I become a ghost? An angel?
Answer: No, a plugged Nickell.
- What did the ghost say when the ghost hunter asked, “What are you doing?”
Answer: Nothing at all.