June 29, 2015

  1. What do you use to clean a Ouija board?

          Answer: A sqOuija.

  2. At the pub, what did the skeptic reply when the New Ager asked, “What’s your sign?”

         Answer: “The Bud Light in neon!”

  3. What did we find on investigating the weeping statue?

         Answer: Profit-tears.

  4. In haunted house investigations, what do EMF meters detect?

         Answer: The presence of silly ghost hunters.

  5. After the alternative-medicine patient lay on a slab with a crystal placed on his solar plexis, what did he feel?

         Answer: That he was between a rock and a hard place.

  6. What American cities have a hidden UFO?

         Answer: BeaUFOrt, in both North Carolina and South Carolina.

  7. What could we call a Bigfoot if she had magical powers?

         Answer: A Sasqwitch.

  8. What is a spirit called that produces trivial disturbances?

         Answer: A paltry geist.

  9. If shot by a disgruntled True Believer, would I become a ghost? An angel?

         Answer: No, a plugged Nickell.

  10. What did the ghost say when the ghost hunter asked, “What are you doing?”

          Answer: Nothing at all.