Satan at CFI? Save your Dime…

May 12, 2020

Would you ever consider having Satan worshipping services at CFI?

A.M., Los Angeles

That’s weird, I just got a call about this…

(Actual call to CFI West in Los Angeles)

Jim Underdown: Hello?

Caller: Hi, how you doin’?

JU: Good, what can I do for you?

Caller: Well I wanted to know exactly what area you guys were in, because I had been in the area and I had heard you guys were going to turn the place into a Satanic Temple. Is that true?

JU: No.

CALLER: Oh it’s not true?

JU: Nope.

CALLER: Ok on the internet it says you guys were turning the place into a Satanic Temple.

JU: Well… uh, we don’t believe in Satan, so…

CALLER: Ok, I got scared because I was like I don’t know because I’m in that area all the time, and you know I don’t… I don’t want to be … get lost over there, you know, in the middle of the day or something or anything and they’re having like a Satanic church session or something. You know what I mean?

JU: No we’re a secular organization. We don’t believe in the supernatural at all.

CALLER: Ok. Alright thank you so much. God bless you.

JU: Thank you.

While it’s true that atheists, by definition, don’t believe in God, I suppose some of them (us) nevertheless believe in some other wacky supernatural crap like Satan or Dracula or Paul Bunyan.

Let me be clear. We at the Center for Inquiry are much more disciplined about our beliefs. We try to restrict what we accept to be true to that which we can confidently demonstrate through science and reason.

To wit…

In order to save future callers’ time (in case you were wondering or care), here is a partial list of stuff we do and don’t believe in:

We Don’t Believe in…                    We Believe in…                          

God                                                                                                       Godzilla, (the movie)

ESP                                                                                                         LSD

Noah’s Ark                                                                                          St. Louis Arch

Homeopathy                                                                                     Avogadro’s number

Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster                                                        Tourist traps

Resurrection                                                                                      Decomposition

Satan                                                                                                     Al Pacino

Walking on Water                                                                          Sand Bars

Hell                                                                                                        Light Beer

Miracles                                                                                              Chicago Cubs 2016 World Series Win

You get the idea…