That’s right, if you’re not going to church, not tithing, not praying, not doing all the things that will get you a 50-yard-line seat in the afterlife, you are screwed in the eyes of most Abrahamic religions and walking on thin ice in many of the others. Religion favors the devout, so if you’re watching football on Sunday morning, you might as well own up to the “A” word. You’re going to burn either way. (I should point out that any religion that doesn’t have some version of hell associated with it isn’t worth worrying much about. Sorry Bahá’ís)
But don’t worry atheists; you’ll have plenty of company in H-town. Let’s look at the numbers.
At over 2 billion adherents, Christianity is the world’s largest religion. But it only comprises just over 30% of the world’s people. That means that on a good day, almost 70% of those who die worldwide will be taking a dip in a lake of fire. (See John 3:16-20 for confirmation that non-Christians are BBQ-bound.)
Of course, plenty of God-fearing Christians will miss the exit ramp to the Pearly Gates too. Even a casual tune-in to the TBN will reveal the many roads to perdition. So can we safely say that (even Christians believe that) at least 3 out of 4 people are destined for eternal damnation? Easily 3 out of 4.
No matter how you crunch it, all individual religions are a vast minority in the world.
I happen to think the “War on Christmas” is a hyped-up Fox News (sic) creation that lines up nicely with the rest of their business model: convince the American public that something dear to them is in imminent danger of being ripped from their bosoms – so they’ll keep watching… Fox News.
The rippers are, variously, the liberals, Hillary Clinton, socialism, Nancy Pelosi, the left, Hillary Clinton, the atheists, Barak Obama, everyone in California, and Hillary Clinton.
But this war is really more like a highly localized skirmish, and there is at least a little blame to go around for people being uptight during this time of year. So here I will attempt to straighten things out with some frank talk to both the Christians who think Satan’s minions (and Hillary) are trying to put a halt to everything Christmas, and to the atheists who become enraged every time they see Santa Claus.
11. Take a moment every day to be grateful
No matter how bad it gets, someone out there is worse off or dead. That’s the bottom line, isn’t it?
You, on the other hand (if you’re actually reading this and not merely in a coma), aren’t dead yet.
So there’s that.
It’s just got to be mentally healthy to shift your thinking from what’s wrong with the world (or your life) to what’s right — at least once in a while. Hope springs eternal.
I don’t know who the hell this Hope is, but I think she’s got the right idea… springing like she does… whatever that means.
Don’t think just because the odds are long that there is a creator/designer behind a rare event. If a gust of wind blows a can of paint off your roof and it happens to explode all over the new patio furniture your wife just bought at the OSH going-out-of-business sale, the spatter pattern it would (theoretically) generate would be unique… gazillions to one to ever re-create the exact same pattern. Did this rare and singular event have a creator or designer that fine-tuned that spill? No. It just happened. An accident. Nobody’s fault. Nobody at all…
The following article originally appeared in the July/August 2011 edition of The American Rationalist. At the beginning of any discussion of the (non) existence of God, one might do well to dismiss Stephen Jay Gould’s notion of “non-overlapping magisteria,” that is, the idea that those things with which science concerns itself and those things with which religion …
Yeah, yeah, yeah, stealing is wrong. Even apes and wolves know that. Try grabbing a gorilla’s last banana and making a run for it. When he catches you, shakes you like a can of spray paint, eats the banana you stole in front of you, and shoves the peel into your ear, that’s his way of saying stealing is wrong.
Because he instinctually knows – as do we – that stealing is wrong. How many apes can recite the 10 Commandments?(Probably about as many as congress members.)
The point is that if apes don’t need this spelled out, why do we?
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
This is a problem. Every major pro sport plays on Sunday. God doesn’t want to mess with the NFL.
And Christian women, look closely at this commandment and notice who doesn’t get a day off… YOU!
Cattle get the Sabbath off. Strangers within thy gates (there are plenty of these in my neighborhood) get the Sabbath off. Slaves? Yep. (and this is pre-OSHA)
Women? Sorry. No.
One more thing here. Why does the all-powerful creator of the universe need rest? Does he get tired after a long week of whipping up matter and energy? Is he out of breath or have a stitch in his side? If you are ALL-powerful, you are in tremendous shape. Ironman triathletes don’t have to rest when they walk up a flight of stairs. Apparently God does.
Are you worried about going to hell? (Laughter) I mean, what would you say if you died and ended up in hell?
I’m not worried because I don’t think hell exists.But if I died and actually did end up in hell, I’d be surprised. You gotta be kidding me, I’d say. All indications were that this is a myth!
“Any law that criminalizes apostasy or the defamation of religion is an unjust law.” Holding special consultative status at the United Nations, the Center for Inquiry regularly attends sessions of the UN Human Rights Council in Geneva. Robyn Blumner, CFI’s president and CEO, was there earlier this month to speak out against blasphemy laws—laws that …
The law against blasphemy might be an old museum relic for a country like the U.K. Innocuous, without any real consequences to the people, the comedians and the artists who simply shrug it off and go about with their usual bantering against the religious or political orthodoxy or whatever they feel like mocking. On the …